so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
