if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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