If that was your dad, he is hot
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
