Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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