Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
