i wish my penis had a tongue
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
