Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
