I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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