as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
