I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
