barbara walters just said penis...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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