It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
