East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
