Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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