Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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