they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I could have mohawked her pubes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
