So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
