In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
