I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
