I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
