dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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