Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
