i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
