dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
