We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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