malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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