Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
