Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
