i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
