How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
