he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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