Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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