she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Small penises have feelings too.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
