You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
