We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize