well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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