I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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