Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
