so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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