you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
