u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
