I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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