We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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