saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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