Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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