blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
