I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
