Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Randomize
