I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
