Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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