first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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