Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
