She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Come share oat with me in your robe
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
