wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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