Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
