How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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