I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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