I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
