Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
