a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
