that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
