Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
