I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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