Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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